Dear Moneyist,

I have been married for 42 years. He is a nice man, with a good personality and great social skills.

I do housework and take care of other appointments as needed. I cook, do small home repairs and painting, etc., and take care of all our financial planning. I worked in a medical career. He was in IT at a prestigious university.

I am getting older. He has this idea that I have all of this money. I do not. I manage it. Everything is in both our names. I manage all our finances. His income is five times my income.

He has always been very passive-aggressive. If I ask him for help with tasks, he acts very put-upon and I end up angry. He forgets things that I ask him to do on purpose, and is always late delivering.

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He does not do any important little things for me. For instance, he pretends to forget to pick up flowers. We have not been to a movie together for the longest time. He is not interested. He has said he will NOT go out to dinner with me or travel.

He paid for a trip to Paris in 2018, then he wanted the money back. He takes no responsibility for managing our finances or our lives, but he loves to go to the gym and hike by himself. He does not chase women, gamble or drink heavily.

For the past 20 years, I have gone on little jaunts on my own to see old friends and family. I went to Boston last January for a weekend for my birthday. It was fun.